Getting valuable
Well, time to spill more words on a page... yay! I have been on quite the roller coaster lately. New Job, new stress, new connection. I've always wanted to connect with others. Feel seen for me, weirdness and all. I've been talking to someone for the past four months, and really value the connection we share. I love his sense of humor and creativity, as well as the comfort he provides, even if he does not know it. We don't talk all the time, which I love, but my anxiety despises. I try to play everything cool, especially my disability. I know he does not mind it, but I do. I don't drive, which means that I always have to have someone drive me places. I am really grateful to have people to do that, but also " Hey this is my ride.... cough "my mom." HOT RIGHT!? Between me not wanting to be too pushy and not wanting to come off too needy,I feel like I'm batting a thousand. When I'm playing it cool, I feel like I'm pushing him away. When I text him, I feel like I'm talking too much. He says nothing is wrong, but that means trusting?! Update later maybe? Probably delete later is more like it.